Free to good home: 1 fucked up uterus. Srsly, someone can have it.
My hair looks really good rn and I hope all the strangers on my tram appreciate it.
My girlfriend doesn’t think a loaf of Turkish bread is a real dinner. I think we need to break up.
WE’RE MOVING INTO A PROPER HOUSE WITH A GARDEN AND I’M SO EXCITED AND WE CAN FINALLY GET A CAT AND I’M SO HAPPY.
Watching a cop fall over always brightens my day.